all about polygamy

Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years
ago. When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one
way of populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry
out God's plan. By the time the Quran was revealed, the world had been
sufficiently populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations
against polygamy.

Polygamy is permitted in the Quran, but under strictly observed
circumstances. Any abuse of this divine permission incurs severe
retribution. Thus, although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves
us to examine our circumstances carefully before saying that a
particular polygamous relationship is permissible.

Our perfect example here is the prophet Muhammad. He was married to
one wife, Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children, except
one, from Khadijah. Thus, she and her children enjoyed the Prophet's
full attention for as long as she was married to him; twenty-five
years. For all practical purposes, Muhammad had one wife - from the
age of 25 to 50. During the remaining 13 years of his life, he married
the aged widows of his friends who left many children. The children
needed a complete home, with a fatherly figure, and the Prophet
provided that. Providing a fatherly figure for orphans is the only
specific circumstance in support of polygamy mentioned in the Quran
(4:3).

Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three
political marriages in the Prophet's life. His close friends Abu Bakr
and Omar insisted that he marry their daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to
establish traditional family ties among them. The third marriage was
to Maria the Egyptian; she was given to him as a political gesture of
friendship from the ruler of Egypt.

This perfect example tells us that a man must give his full attention
and loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a
happy and wholesome family.

The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong
words: "If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in
treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one."
(4:3) "You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter
how hard you try." (4:129)

The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of
abusing God's law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God's
law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away
from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had
better give our full attention to one wife and one set of children.
The children's psychological and social well-being, especially in
countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost invariably dictate
monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating
polygamy:

1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or
suffering.

2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is
an abuse.

3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law
(4:19).